birb brain goes beep boop

Sep 21, 2021 - 10:28PM

last 2 nights ive dreamt that i got cancelled,,, @g0d what does it MEAN

Sep 21, 2021 - 10:20PM

  1. i cancelled w/ a high paying client bc ??? im having a lot of anxiety leaving my house but im not sure which direction its coming from

  2. i indirectly broke 2 pieces today so now i gotta k m s /jk

Sep 20, 2021 - 2:45PM

😌decided i'm gonna start deleting old Thoughts i don't Feel anymore the way one would donate clothing they don't wear anymore😌

Sep 19, 2021 - 10:11PM

my tarot cards I just pulled are SO accurate tho???

  1. things that are on my mind: 9 of swords reversed ("it is becoming easy for you to get worked up for the smallest reason / everything that comes along makes you nervous and spiral into negativity. take a step back and get a clearer perspective.")

  2. how my emotions & feelings are: 6 of pentacles ("generosity and compassion and understanding breeds the same. people give away the fruits of their labor with the understanding that at any moment their situation could be reversed.")

  3. what tasks are you focused on accomplishing today?: king of pentacles ("a man of utmost dilligence--he knows what he wants and persues it relentlessly. he is a hard worker, though his road is long and arduous and repetitive, but giving up is not an option.")

Sep 19, 2021 - 5:34PM

they told me it was lox AND creamcheese but they gave me lox-BASED creamcheese 😤

Sep 18, 2021 - 11:07PM

hearing my roommate + my cat snoring @ the same time 😭😭💝💝💘💘☺️😌

Sep 18, 2021 - 11:06PM

i can be friends w/ppl who dnt always see eye2eye, rite??

Sep 18, 2021 - 9:28PM

where should i leave to?

when am i welcome?

howdoiknowhowdoiknowhowdoiiiiiii

Sep 17, 2021 - 8:59PM

currently: spraying coconut milk whipped cream into my mouth

Sep 17, 2021 - 5:03PM

I honestly love going on Venmo and looking at strangers public transactions it's like people watching except I'm baffled as to WHY they didn't just put it on private lmaoo

Sep 16, 2021 - 9:01AM

when ur in a polyam relationship and ur partner cheats on you there's rly no way to quantify or explain it there's just this chasm where trust used to be

Sep 11, 2021 - 7:29PM

horse tranq makes brain feel freshly ironed

Sep 11, 2021 - 9:44AM

woke up from a beautiful dream crying bc it has no basis in reality

Sep 10, 2021 - 9:26PM

IF I REPEAT IT ENOUGH TIMES IT BECOMES TRUE

IF I REPEAT IT ENOUGH TIMES IT BECOMES ALIVE

IF I BELIEVE IT ENOUGH TIMES IT REPEATS

IF I BELIEVE IT REPEATS IT BECOMES ALIVE

IF I BELIEVE IT ALIVE IT BECOMES TRUE

Sep 10, 2021 - 8:12PM

S/he ticked off in his/her head the locales for the dripdrip

coasting one-handed down the same highway

everytime but that's good because it allows

S/he time to plan the route out onto the ledge

to drop the [redacted] / to imprint onto the memory

of the stone(d) bridge(s) that WETTER kind of vibe

S/he had seen that artist once, writing on

the wall of our mind, and since then s/he has held

each pair of eyes with the same vigor as a steam-

filled room / the pin-tip is tattooing him/her It /

It is dreaming of an Untopia where everyone has

enough batter to fry their foods in, where

Nothing is something that happens on purpose

Sep 08, 2021 - 7:21AM

can't beliEVe spotify suggested the playlist "straightedge anthems" to me why the FUCK can't I just bring horse tranquilizers into this HOSPital without being JUDGED

Sep 08, 2021 - 7:16AM

crying in pain b4 bringing someone else to the hospital

Sep 06, 2021 - 8:59PM

talking w/ my lawyer is just thought-crime intervention ya know lmao

Sep 06, 2021 - 8:57PM

i put everything bagel seasoning on rice and it slaps yall

Sep 06, 2021 - 8:56PM

UNEMPLOYED

&&&

UNEMPLOYABLE

&&&

thus,

UNGOVERNABLE

Sep 06, 2021 - 5:26PM

i forgot how much i love cucumbers, esp persian cucumbers

Sep 05, 2021 - 10:33PM

i understand why this book is an international success but the author describes women so rudely that it barely seems worth it

Sep 02, 2021 - 10:37PM

YOU CAN TRY BUT I WONT GO QUIET

IN THE BACK OF A COP CAR

YOU CAN TRY BUT I WONT GO QUIET

I N T H E B A C K O F A C O P C A R

Sep 02, 2021 - 5:34PM

UghhhhGGHHHHHHHZUUYGGHNBDNjdndnbbgggghhhhhhhhh

Sep 02, 2021 - 5:34PM

IF I CANT HAVE LOVE I WANT POWER

Sep 02, 2021 - 2:01PM

do you think jinxing is real? Like talking about stuff will scare it away from happening?

Sep 02, 2021 - 1:39PM

sex is just a weapon that you won't have to use a lot if you're any good at it

Aug 30, 2021 - 11:58PM

my cat is so funny and beautiful, I really almost gave him up for adoption and literally every day I hear him meep or see his tiny face lifting towards a sunny breeze I am so so grateful he's here with me <3

Aug 30, 2021 - 11:56PM

can we please start cancelling poets I wanna duke it out in the arena like g0ds

Aug 30, 2021 - 11:48PM

having relationships that change and grow to contain the experiences of that friendship is a blessing. I am learning how to accept support from anywhere even if it is somewhere I wouldn't have accepted before. I am realizing I can hold negative things I know a person has done in the same breath as I know they are anchoring me into the moment. I am so so raw but I want it to work, in the sense that I don't ever want to feel estranged from my heart-friends, even if our paths are no longer together I want to cheer my ex-lovers on! I want to be a supportive person and feel confident about my support people. I want to know in my soul that you will have my back even if we never talk after this. I want to wake up with the ghost of your hand lingering on my hair.

Aug 30, 2021 - 1:06PM

if you see this post yr encouraged to take this survey: https://tiny.cc/acab

Aug 29, 2021 - 11:56PM

I'm worried my doctor is gonna make me stop eating fun foods :(

Aug 29, 2021 - 9:48PM

"queerer than a box of birds"

Aug 29, 2021 - 5:39PM

I'm from EN. E. DOUBLEYOU. jerz

Aug 28, 2021 - 9:15AM

i knew it was serious when they took my passport + locked the door

Aug 26, 2021 - 2:50PM

IF I DIE IN CUSTODY AND THEY CALL IT A SUICIDE JUST KNOW THAT IT WASN'T AND THEY KILLED ME

Aug 26, 2021 - 2:37PM

just ate a wawa sandwich + drank a tim hortons coffee @ the same time 🙏😇🙌

Aug 26, 2021 - 2:34PM

"activation time is 60 min" bi t ch i'm ILL

Aug 26, 2021 - 1:49PM

i will be suspicious of everyone forever and that BLOWS. one of my feds wore converse?? like I thought I could trust those bitches but I guess NOT.

Aug 26, 2021 - 1:49PM

the bass hits different when yr not here

Aug 26, 2021 - 9:18AM

the tsa agents following me around keep getting asked questions by randos and I bet they're more stressed out about watching me than I am about it lmfaOOOol

Aug 24, 2021 - 5:56PM

I FELL IN LOVE / IN THE BACK / OF A COP CAR

Aug 24, 2021 - 5:54PM

"my identity by itself causes violence"

Aug 24, 2021 - 1:39PM

A BAD BITCH

GAVE ME BOMB HEAD

TO BAD BRAINS

[run the jewels]

Aug 23, 2021 - 11:56PM

falling asleep sitting up dreaming about praying in my pastor's voice

Aug 23, 2021 - 11:54PM

i got rid of all the mirrors in my house (except for the bathroom one) and ive literally never felt so confident 🗡

Aug 23, 2021 - 11:52PM

co-star told me "do the thing that would be the most fun to write about later" 🤔🤔🤔 :squints:

Aug 23, 2021 - 1:04PM

"you'd hate a cop car too if you ever had to sit in the back of it" [dae zhen]

Aug 22, 2021 - 8:26PM

Erasure Made From The [Feb. 2015] Issue Of [Poetry Mag]

where-ever the waves of ignorance

named our art, some other feeling

knew of the sky's holes. arrive

in time to a dream played with.

wedged between death and reality,

the inner biography guillotines

the past. we read about the

assassinations of anarchists.

we make it up as we go along.

Aug 22, 2021 - 8:22PM

Erasure Made From The [March 2015] Issue Of [Poetry Mag], II.

you fly across the country to see your friend

grieving. when you look you see something

missing. ruin the british museum! believe

there's more beauty in the world. damn the

world for the man next to you. you can

calculate the way / across. an afterlife,

in case She's waiting.

Aug 22, 2021 - 8:19PM

Erasure Made From The [March 2015] Issue Of [Poetry Mag], I.

our child / has become / a closet

crouched among / the empty cold

come out, come out! i will

probably play a trick--

hello up there! did you offer

him your disguise?

did he climb through you?

did he step inside you?

is it black / in there?

Aug 22, 2021 - 8:10PM

did some math & i'm p sure i'm now 6 months alc. sober

(:

Aug 22, 2021 - 8:09PM

TODAY I WENT TO AN EDA MEETING AND TALKED ABOUT MY PARENTS AND I DIDNT DIE

Aug 21, 2021 - 5:01PM

hmmm looks like today's gender is "crying in the laundromat"

Aug 13, 2021 - 11:07AM

fuck: bro

marry: bruh

kill: bra

Aug 09, 2021 - 12:20AM

read a letter today from someone on death row who is rapidly going blind + is being ignored by all the prison doctors, who he says have basically given up on him, + not to put too fine of a point on it, but that's why i hate anyone who works with prisons or cops, even if they don't see themselves as cops; they're just as complicit in upholding the dehumanization of individuals in the system.

Aug 05, 2021 - 2:07PM

love 2 look up from whatever im doing + realizing i have all of the cats in my line of vision 😊😊😻😻

Aug 05, 2021 - 2:01PM

i really frICkeED iT Up ThIs tImE didn't i my duuUUUuude

Aug 05, 2021 - 1:59PM

goob mourning

Aug 02, 2021 - 5:35PM

chopsticks are also tiny drumsticks

Aug 02, 2021 - 3:34PM

if Wicked (the book) and Bojack Horseman were in the same universe, that would account for how a feral baby existed in that episode about Hank Hippopopalous and thusly bit him on television (also i was that feral baby)

Aug 02, 2021 - 3:32PM

roses are red

the thin line is blue

your bosses & landlord

don't care abt u!!!!!!!!!!!

Jul 31, 2021 - 11:37PM

i am the family emergency

Jul 31, 2021 - 11:32PM

fuck: shit-talking

marry: pillow-talk

kill: emotional labor

Jul 31, 2021 - 10:04PM

my card today told me to spend time around ppl + i did that even before pulling it :o

Jul 26, 2021 - 11:42PM

my newest & current fave body mods are knuck tats, nips pierced, & someone giving me t shots from an international shipment of t in their living room :angelface:

Jul 26, 2021 - 11:40PM

????i keep pulling the lovers card and yet????!!!??nO lovers:(

Jul 26, 2021 - 10:01PM

FUCK

MARRY

KILL

they said they would kill themself if i left / but i still did / and then they didn’t-- / they said they wanted to kill him / but they didn’t / and then i stayed / anyway, again-- / let them choke me into confession / admission / submission / i bit both our tongues / you say you love me + i taste / blood / i say i love you + you / leave, anyway--

(video killed the radio star): my voice dips low into your ear / melted wax / shuttered room / you could buy me but you won't / i'm already scarred / i'm not / new enough--

i'm worried she's going to die: and i won't know for too long, like, long enough that when i finally mourn it lives inside me scared to leave in case i start forgetting that i left like lightning striking in the distance / you heard it in / my voice before you saw / i left scorch marks behind

Jul 26, 2021 - 7:48PM

do ppl who identify as marxist leninists know that stalin consolidated that ideology while he was killing the masses to keep them from rebelling against the famine + anti-semitism he leveled at them? or are they just tryna get laid

Jul 26, 2021 - 2:48PM

holding my bag / like i'm packing a fad / put the dabs in the cooler / so they know that we're bad / i've got the lockbox combo / to your girlfriend's dick / turn the lights down now / cuz i'm about to be sick (HOLY SHIT)

my lawyer's on retainer / so you know that I'm that bitch / keep a blade on my bod / cuz i was born in 96

lifestyle hater with that / jealous aesthetic / coked a bitch up / just to show you i can get it / jock-jam door-slam / that's too much man / you've got a screenshot fetish / your gender is pathetic / and your boyfriend's not a fag / so i just don't get it (!!!!!!!????????)

so take a seat / smoke the leaf / while we drop this beat (FUCK)

my lawyer's on retainer / so you know that I'm that bitch / keep a blade on my bod / cuz I was born in 96 / used to drinky like tankini / so I can't just take a sip / put my throttle on the bottle / like I'm pissing in the Ritz

your girlfriend's cisgender / you know I choke better / i guess that's whatever / put my glass in your ass / til you start to stutter / bitch please / I've got more sexpertice / than her health class taught her / bout STDs / that's right dumb slut / put your hands on my tits / if you ask me where they went / then you're gonna get split / up the side like fishnets bitches / wear when they ride / on that transgender dick

my lawyer's on retainer / so you know that I'm that bitch / keep a blade on my body / I was born in 96 / used to drinky like tankini / so I can't just take a sip / put my throttle on the bottle / like I'm pissing in the Ritz / now put the dope in the back / when we're drive past pigs (HA)

Jul 26, 2021 - 2:29PM

I.

the astrologers in their infinite mercy

only cluck at my cards this time

II.

we all know i’ll skip a party to wait for

a text that doesn’t happen

III.

i’m not making my bed i haven’t in weeks

i’m just lying in it

IX.

i came out when poets still listed the states

we were allowed to consummate

marriage in and the crowd chanted

their contrapuntal traumas back

to us

Jul 26, 2021 - 2:22PM

THE COP WATCHING ME UNDRESS IN JAIL TELLS ME HOW MANY FELLOW COPS’ FUNERALS SHE’S BEEN TO

recently like maybe i’d want to listen (so i am)

she’s tired of seeing her friends’ faces

blown up big screen behind their barren bodies

yeah well so am i

so am i

so am i

so am i

[[[

.

.

.

here are the places the poem could dissolve into its easy narratives:

my friend’s face choked above a cop’s fist flashes--

but it’s more than that

she has a dog she’s wanted to go home to this whole night shift

but it’s more than that

(i can’t tell what response she’s been told to small-talk out of me)

but it’s more than that

.

.

.

]]]

i’m still handing her my underwear

she still searches me when we leave the room

i’m still naked on camera [action]ing

i’ve still got identical scaphoid scars

//

the [girl]cops doing intake still dance to that one song

with the siren layed beat like they’re not

waiting with the baton at the end of it

//

(i don’t know how they find the raptongue

to singalong when they make fun of me for

knowing the words but not

knowing my lawyer’s phone number--)

//

(like i didn’t know they’d find me)

(like this wasn’t my fuckin song)

Jul 26, 2021 - 2:16PM

one time i read something that said "​whenever i feel uncomfortable in public i write i really gassed up missed connection about myself and feel better" and its truly stuck w/ me as a self-care tactic

Jul 26, 2021 - 2:15PM

​multiple small birds keyboard smashing to funky jamz

Jul 26, 2021 - 12:11AM

some reimagined words i like:

traggot (trans+faggot)

vant (vent+rant)

bussy (boy-pussy)

jort (short jeans)

svp ('pls' but french)

anartist (anarcho-artist, can be deg. or not)

shants (either 'shall nots' or 'shit pants')

jockey (wearing jeans while playing hockey)

Jul 25, 2021 - 3:00PM

THE NEW JERSEY DEVIL STOPS BEING A PACIFIST AFTER WATCHING COPS BEAT ITS FRIENDS INTO THE PAVEMENT

The New Jersey Devil is being followed by an unmarked car (again) (today). The New Jersey Devil sits across from the jail-warden and looks at its own mugshot upside-down. The New Jersey Devil watches the camera watching it eat naked shit naked sleep naked sob naked glare back at it naked. The New Jersey Devil finds the only not-Bible book during the one un-solitary hour and it is Hamlet so thus reads each sentence twice then recites it back to itself like it is the Ghost and the voice-crack and the Accident and the scene-change all at once. The New Jersey Devil is told it is unsafe but the jail-warden is not telling the New Jersey Devil how it feels he is telling it how it is classified. The New Jersey Devil does not know how long it prayed to a sliver of sky before realizing it was just a brick wall’s painted taunt. The New Jersey Devil has handcuff scars for months after. Later, the New Jersey Devil learns a prayer exists in a lover’s language that begs the skulls of their enemies cracked open on rocks like brunch eggs. Later, the New Jersey Devil practices the script of its emergency contact number so often it recitals in its sleep. Now, the New Jersey Devil does not have it memorized (yet) (again). Now, the New Jersey Devil gets one phone call and it rings and rings and rings and rings and rings and rings and rings and rings and rings and

Jul 25, 2021 - 2:58PM

IN TRANNY JAIL PEOPLE WHO HATE ME WILL SHARE THEIR CIGS WITH ME

i don't even like cigs but

around the fire we are all the same kind

of faggot /

there are liberals who think the solution to

overcrowded prisons is building

more prisons

then sorting the trannies out of regular jail

and putting them in a newly built

tranny jail

and in tranny jail,

we're gonna lift weights and compare shitty tattoos

in tranny jail,

people who have beef with me probably still

have beef with me and i wonder

all the time if we're all

in tranny jail together,

will we finally uplift each other?

will tranny jail make us kinder animals?

(we'll never know b/c if they get enuf of us in a cell we'll bang down the bars)


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